What is your pair style?
Step by step We create our joint life. And although the family relationship is always unique, each pair can be attributed to a certain type, the sociologist Jean Kellerhan says.
Five married unions, the description of which you will find here were allocated by a group of sociologists from Geneva University (Switzerland). This classification is the result of observing 1500 couples of people of different ages, not less than a year living in legal or civil marriage.
Curious the first impression obtained as a result of the study: never before the external "scenery" of love was not so diverse, and the couples are so free in choosing a relationship.
"It can be argued that the standard marriage model came to the end, – summarizes Jean Kellerhan, one of the authors of the work. – Nowadays, creativity and individuality are published on our time.
However, among the huge variety of relationship styles, five major trends can be distinguished, five more or less harmonious (as well as more or less new) models of marriage unions. And, if in one of them you can find out your own, others will remind you of families friends, parents or neighbors.
What is this classification for what? First of all, it will make it possible to figure out what tasks of your Union. What is it based on? How are the roles within the family, is there any personal territory, as you settle conflicts. Perhaps it will become a discovery, but it happens that the relationship of the spouses go beyond the framework of love connections. "In public consciousness, there has always been the perfect image of" real, fateful love ", which one day should come off on us and resolve all of our problems," the expert states.
Find your model
Joint Life does not hold on one sense of endless love. "We need to work on relationships," says Jean Kellerhhan. – This design consists of a variety of floors and more resembles a well-thought out project than the gift of fate. Agree, even the most romantic agents have to be reckoned with such irritant components of relations, as the distribution of power in the family, personal space or shared means ".
It is possible that the awareness of the multifaceted relationship will allow you in case of the emergence of difficulties to revise and work out some details of living together, and not to quit everything and leave.
How the model is selected on the basis of which relationships are built in the marriage union? "It largely depends on the age of partners, from the kind of their classes and their social environment," explains the sociologist. – If you are young, you have both higher education, you live in the city and strive for personal development and professional success, then most likely your style – Family-Association. While the life of your parents probably passed through a more traditional Family Fortress Scheme.
However, it is quite possible that in your case a certain cocktail arose with elements of other relationships or two models of marriage unions at the same time. Be that as it may, a certain style in the relationship occurs quite quickly. Often it changes due to the appearance of the first child: in this case, spouses can move from the family association to the family of comrades. However, after the birth of the firstborn style will not change. At least, if specifically not asked such a goal ".
Union-Fortress: "And in joy, and in the mountain"
Priorities. These partners are tightly connected with each other, they are together experiencing deprivation and joy, dreaming "live happily and die one day". Separating each other’s tastes, they always try to come to a common opinion.
Their individuality originates in the word "we": together they are working to ensure that the husband achieves success in a professional plan (the wife often does not work), and also engage in the formation of children. Road partners consensus, unity of opinion. That couple is good, they consider it, inside which there is almost no disagreement.
Distribution of role. One of the tasks of the partners is to reduce the number of reasons for discontent. Their daily life consists of a variety of rituals: for everything there is its place and time, and the role of each of the family members is clearly marked. Here more often than in other unions, duties are distributed depending on the floor of the spouse: it is assumed that the wife is engaged in the house, and the husband earns money. Nevertheless, the decision partners take together.
Relations with peace. Wife is rarely published. She tends to consider the influences of the outside world – new ideas and trends – rather as a threat. Husband shows more interest in innovations, other ways of existence and image of thoughts. He is a kind of "Plenipotentiary Representative" a couple, which lies with the responsibility for "external relations" and the social integration of the family. Wife is more focused on "internal matters": security, care, tenderness. This complementarity strengthens the dependence of family members from each other.
Advantages and disadvantages. Chief Trump Family Fortress – Stability. When partners take on certain responsibilities, life becomes more harmonious. Spouses try to avoid collisions, yielding some of their positions. Solving problems, they prefer traditional, proven ways. Peaceful life in the "Fortress" borders on the routine. Such relationships are able to "be worn" if from time to time partners do not undermine new projects.