What you need to know about manipulators

What you need to know about manipulators

Humiliation, insult, mental pain, impotence and confusion indicate that we have undergone psychological manipulation. How to protect it from it? How to recognize malicious person? Our explanations will help you not be a victim.

Culture of the consumption company puts the result in chapter. Unlike the patriarchal epoch, prone to morality, modern culture does not encourage us to suppress desires, on the contrary, it cancels shame and guilt and allows you to use your neighbor with a clean conscience as a thing if it leads to promotion by social staircase. "It is useless to fight the law, but some begin to behave as if the law does not exist," the Criminology and Court Psychiatrist Dominic Barbier notes.

Being successful, full energy, look young and not to allow yourself the age – these are the ideals of our world, and they "give rise to immature adults who see in their children not those who need to patronize, but competitors," says psychoanalyst Jean-Claude Lioda. Many adults are too absorbed by themselves and therefore neglect their duties of educators or bring their spiritual experiences on children, without listening to their feelings. Or, on the contrary, impose their own egoistic aspirations, inspiring that the only law of life is the law of their desire.

"In this case, children become accomplices, comrades for violation of borders," said psychoanalyst. It is from such children in the future, unprincipled manipulators grow easily ..

What is psychological manipulations?

28-year-old Sofia in adolescence met one photographer who persuaded her to pose nude. This experience, he assured, will give her confidence in himself, he will teach himself to appreciate himself. In fact, this voyeur enjoyed her embarrassment and anxiety, and she still does not carry her body today. 26-year-old Eduard had to quit: the head did not appreciate his work, put the unattainable tasks in front of him and reproached that he spends too much time in the toilet.

53-year-old Alexander twenty years was married to a person, always ready to come to the rescue and with respect for neighbors. But at home he beat her and humiliated their son. When she timidly complained about this neighbors, they simply did not believe her. Sofia, Eduard and Alexandra have a common: they were toy manipulators.

We are all potentially capable of such behavior, especially in kindergarten or adolescence: which of us never forced to suffer from another person? But the manipulator seeks to enjoy unlimited and use another person in his whim. His signs are the complete absence of empathy (empathy) and the tendency to move to action and break the borders: for the manipulator it becomes a matter of honor to immediately seek what he wants, be it subject, social status or other person.

The main weapon of the manipulator is the words that he masterfully owns, convincing, deceiving, mocking, humiliating, whereas we, his victims, remain in short, because the dialogue is impossible with him.

How manipulators catch us online?

What you need to know about manipulators

Manipulators do not suffer anxiety. They rarely come to a psychologist, unless to gain peace with themselves: "Hello, my wife considers me too cynical and sends me. Well, I came ". The second meeting is usually not happening. Only if the manipulator decided to survive at the expense of a psychologist. Psychotherapists meet mostly with victims, because manipulators have the ability to fasten our deepest secrets and capture our mind. In this case, we begin to doubt what we heard that we survived: we are completely confused.

Alexandra has long thought that she imagines herself that, because such a wonderful person, like her husband, can not do anything bad. She also believed that the fact that she was poorly turned to her, there were her wines.

Manipulators make us be ashamed of themselves, consider themselves stupid, awkward, disgusting, because they know how to find our weaknesses. We feel unworthy love and re-experiencing a feeling of guilt, which stretches for us from childhood.

Where it is taken from?

To understand the manipulator, you need to imagine the psyche of a three-year-old child – he thinks he is all allowed, and considers himself more important than he is actually. As well as a dependent child-tyrant, he is lost, falls, complains that he does not understand if we decide to leave. "In the depths of the soul, he despises," – assures Dominic Barbier. In childhood, he survived some traumatic experience: "Something in it is broken, something prevented relations with other people at a too early stage, and these relationships did not have time to be established.".

What you need to know about manipulators

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