Change Your Beliefs, Change Your Life with Aslan Mirkalami

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Hello, and welcome to Get Yourself Optimized! I’m your host, Stephan Spencer, and today, we have Aslan Mirkalami. Aslan’s a good friend of mine, and he is a guru. You’re going to really appreciate hearing from him. He is a high-performance coach, a serial entrepreneur, he’s the founder of Rugman.com, which he sold in 2011. He is just an all-around healer and an incredible guy. He’s a lifelong learner. He studied under Tony Robbins for 12 years. He was a platinum partner with Tony.

In fact, that’s how we met. It was through platinum partnership because I was a “plat” as well. He’s got an extensive business background, but he now marries that up with all of his healing disciplines to kind of do a holistic treatment of his clients. He started going down this path of training and learning how to affect people’s health and energy, and in the process, he really piqued his interest in taking this even further. In fact, over the course of time, he has spent over a million dollars in personal development. I don’t know anybody else who spends that kind of money. I’ve, maybe, spent half of that, which is a lot, and he’s got me beat by a lot so welcome, Aslan! It’s great to have you on the show!

Thank you, Stephan! Glad to be with you! You said a lot of nice things about me. I hope I can live up to people’s expectations. This is really putting on a big hat for me.

Well, you definitely deliver. In fact, you have clients who are paying you substantial sums of money to work with you, and you deliver results so I have all the faith in the world that you’re going to deliver on this interview. Let’s start with one thing that is near and dear to my heart that I have learned a lot about over the last six years, which is NLP. I’ve learned about anchoring, about mirroring and matching, about so many aspects to NLP. There’s a great book I read called Provocative Hypnosis, which is a great book about NLP. I’ve learned NLP from Tony and from other practitioners, but you have done a deep dive into NLP-studying from the very founders; taking extensive courses with them, not just like a half-day seminar, but days-long courses; and spending a huge amount of money on NLP training. What is so important about NLP that you invest that kind of time, energy, and money into it? Why should our listeners care about NLP?

Well, I found myself at John Grinder’s seminars in Los Angeles, and that in fact, was the last gig he did in the United States-because he got into a lawsuit with his former partner, Richard Bandler. I basically connected with him on a personal level where he actually helped me in person, and then from there, it just blew up. At some point, I got to know Richard Bandler, as you said, and I started studying with him. It was a very interesting journey with him. I had an incredible journey with him. In fact, both gentlemen have become personal friends. I’ve taken trainings after trainings with them almost-I visit at once a year, sometimes twice a year to each one of them, but also, I’ve taken different schools of NLP. There’s a gentleman called Tad James who does training out of Las Vegas, and I’ve studied with him also, and you said, sometimes days, I think weeks and months are probably better-I better explain.

This is my wife’s biggest complaint-“You are away too much!” But, anyway, that’s me. Through all that, also, I became really passionate about this. When I started my coaching practice, I married it with my entrepreneurial skills, and it became something a little different where I was guaranteeing result of, let’s say, if I don’t deliver, I don’t get paid, and that was something different. People were saying, “Oh, that’s different!” Throughout the whole thing, I, myself, went through some therapy, and I saw very little of it, of course, because very quickly, I realized that this is not for me. I saw how inadequate most of them are. I’m not discrediting an industry right-in the chance the ones I dealt with-they were like that, but they were quite expensive, like $300-400 an hour, and I said, “Oh my God! You know what? Maybe there is a need here,” so I started this mentoring coaching business where I would mentor people to start a business or become wealthy, and my slogan was then, “I’m going to teach you to quadruple your income and do it in half the time you work.”

As you said, I also worked with Tony Robbins quite a bit. I took his seminars, took his leadership roles, and then I ended up at platinum partner where we met. It’s been an interesting journey, but really, one thing that put everything together for me and that was all dynamics. It’s just like what works-I’ll keep doing, and what doesn’t work, I’ll take it out. I’ve come up with quite a bit of technique that I use that works very particularly with the clients I work that I basically did on my own. I’m going to be writing some books about them pretty soon. I have a few titles in my mind-maybe Becoming Awakened is one or Lies, Lies, and Even Bigger Lies. These are the two titles I have because as most people, we lie a lot, and especially, we lie to ourselves – the biggest lies we say to ourselves, and most of what we say to ourselves are lies, anyway. The process of being awakened is the process of stop doing that lying process, and that’s one big step towards becoming awakened.

If we were to connect up NLP with what you’re doing now, is NLP and holodynamics related somehow or is one a subset of…?

I would say that maybe 20% NLP, 30-40% holodynamics, and the balance is somewhere in between hypnosis and all the other things that Stephen Gilligan teaches. NLP is very mechanical. It doesn’t have much heart and soul, and the other two are all heart and soul, and their connection is very direct. In fact, I think holodynamics without NLP is not as strong, and the other way around too. I found by studying so many different practices, and I’ve done a lot of other things-lots of other things. I’ve been to all shamanics. I’ve gone to Oneness. I’ve taken the entire Oneness program. I’ve taken other mystical approaches, sometimes months at a time. I’ve been to Osho’s.

The process of being awakened is the process of stop doing that lying process.

I don’t know if you know that I’ve done all kinds of programs there in India. I’ve gone, seen, and spent time with Sai Baba and many, many, many others-too many to say. I’ve done everything but taking the psychedelics drugs. In fact, I’ve experienced psychedelic drugs without psychedelics because through deep rapport, you can actually experience what the other person experience. I have a partner in one of the exercises who had a very good experience with psychedelics and I said, “Well, can you transfer that to me?” and I got and understand what most people had. I didn’t get a bad trip. I’ve found the good trip, and without taking a chance, I had a really nice trip. That’s pretty much, I will say, has been my journey.

Yeah. I’ll just interrupt for a second to say that I had kind of an experience where I’ve never done drugs, but I felt almost like a-I don’t know what an acid trip would feel like, but I felt this incredible otherworldly experience when I was at Oneness University in India, and I had just gotten a blessing from one of the monks. Everything was technicolor-like, the grass was greener than I’ve ever seen in my whole life, and it was just amazing. It was out of this world. Apparently, you don’t need to utilize psychedelics in order to get trippy or whatever. You can just have a really spiritual experience. I had that, and it was amazing and really opened me. In India, the Oneness monks say that God is an experience, not a belief.

Well, you know what? Actually, that’s absolutely the truth. In fact, everything you believe is a lie. I come from the school of thought that there is not a single belief that’s good – let’s say, not good, but maybe it’s assignment of value, but let’s say if, there’s no belief that’s limiting because once you believe, either limiting or not so limiting belief, you’re actually limited to what it fits in that belief. Once you remove the belief, it’s then you’re open to, literally, reality as it is and as it’s happening in front of you. It becomes cat-like-very curious, and everything becomes interesting. Nobody can say anything that makes you say, “Oh, wait a minute! That’s impossible!” None of that is ever going to happen. Everything is possible, and it’s in that realm of possibility, you’re forming your reality, which is pretty much what we’re doing. We’re basically forming our reality based on observation-well, scientifically, beginning with two million bits of information almost unconsciously, but we’re only processing ten bits of information.

That’s such a vast difference in your conscious and unconscious observation. You’re basically picking and choosing the reality you want to see. Let’s say, if you said, “Find me contaminants in the water, and you can only take 10 samples out of a million-you know what? The purest water has 10 parts per million in contaminants. You’ll find 100% contaminant. Basically, that’s your belief system and that’s your beliefs so it’s better off not to have any beliefs. It’s a very interesting world to live in once you give up your beliefs. You’re actually awakened. Your senses become awakened, and your world changes. I’ve done this for a few of my clients, especially the ones in the stock market who have traded this. They reported to me that their trading has incredibly improved, and all their physical illnesses go away with that because most physical illnesses are manifestations of conflicts in between your beliefs.

If you believe one and do the other, it’s like push-and-pull at the same time or as Tony says, “If you put your foot on the pedal on the gas and brake at the same time, you’re going to have an engine problem,” and that’s most of the people’s physical illnesses are causing that. The other thing that’s causing it is the dissociation of your mind and body. When you think your mind is separate from your body, that belief system alone creates a lot of problems because then you don’t communicate to your body. We already have had cases-many, many medically documented cases-of people operating very normal life without having a physical brain so if you’re missing a brain and living a normal life-which, by the way, this happens very seldom and has a few documentaries, you can Google it and study it, if you like-that means, our entire body is one unit. Our mind is in our body and our body is within our mind. When you come from that school, then you realize that there is a vastness there that is incomparable to anything you can imagine.

You’re talking about somebody born with a birth defect-they don’t have the neocortex, they just have the brain stem-is that what you’re referring to?

That’s right. Yeah. The head is occupied with water, but they live a normal life. I mean, normally, these people do not live a normal-they either die or they are in a vegetative state, but in rare, rare cases, they live a normal life.

Can they talk? Can they converse with you?

Yeah. They talk, they work…

Wow! I have to read that study because I have a hard time believing that one.

I know. You see, we think we have one brain. We really don’t have one brain. We have one brain, but we don’t even use half of it because most of the time, we use only one hemisphere. We have a lot of nerve endings in our heart, and we connect our mind to our heart. Actually, we go into a completely different dimension-it’s a coherent state, and then what we have is a third brain. Our third brain is our digestive system. That’s the very first brain that was developed into the evolution.

Just to give you an example: The jellyfish. The jellyfish doesn’t have brain, but it’s pretty intelligent. It rides upstream, up and down the coast, it finds its prey, finds its food and eats it, and it stings you if you go near so it has all these things happening at the same time, but basically, uses its digestive system as a brain. We have the same thing. In fact, in your tummy there’s a brain called-some people call it “dantian brain.” This dantian brain has enough processing power of the brain of a little cat so that’s a huge brain. Evolutionally, cats are pretty intelligent animals. Look how intelligent that animal is.

We have it within us. We are disconnected from it because our brains, basically, has taken over-in fact, our identity has taken over-and to be able to rule this entire vast of intelligence that is connected to the entire universe has created this barrier. Once you go beyond that identity-lose your identity and lose your belief system-then it’s much easier to connect to your heart, to your dantian brain, and to your left brain/right brain hemisphere coordinates. When you do that, you enter a different world, and the world and its colors are completely different, and the psychedelics are every day.

Once you go beyond that identity-lose your identity and lose your belief system-then it’s much easier to connect to your heart, to your dantian brain, and to your left brain/right brain hemisphere coordinates.

So, that coherence is between the heart brain and your “brain” brain?

Yes.

And this is something I’ve learned from Tony. This is not new information for me, but he had us do this exercise where we would get into coherence of…

…of that state, yes. That’s right.

Can you describe an exercise that somebody could do at home or at the office where they could get into a coherent state?

Yes. Whenever you want to make a good decision-a decision that is all around-I would recommend that this is what you do: You toss a ball back and forth a few times so you activate your left brain or right brain-some people actually do golf ball and a hammer on your left hand and your right hand, or you can take a right-hand pen and a left-hand pen and write ambidextrously at the same time. Write sentences with this hand and write sentences with that hand, and try to be few minutes of that, and then you enter into a left brain/right brain hemispheric coordinates, basically, harmonize. And then what you do is, you take your hand and put into your heart, and you enter, you’re basically breathing into your heart, and do that for about, maybe, two to five minutes, depending on different people.

You’ll feel a shift in your state. You’ll feel your state of awareness expanding tremendously, and that’s basically, the state of coherence, and you can make a decision from there. Now, if you want to manifest, you go down to your dantian, and if you project from that dantian into space and front of your vision-so your vision goes through your heart, goes through your dantian, and expands into something that, basically, you want. It has your left brain, it has your right brain, it has your heart, and it has your dantian. It has all of your intelligence and processing. By the way, it doesn’t end there. In fact, according to a Vernon Woolf, the founder of holodynamic, which has, I think, millions of followers in Russia.

Somehow, this thing got so big in Russia, but has never caught and never fueled in the United States. I thought that I was very privileged to know him-it was interesting. According to him, every cell in our body processes. It has processing power, and it connected through basically, a set of connections. Every cell is connected to every other cell. The name skips me, I’m really not sure why, but your entire body is a processing machine. It’s like a server farm. You have about a hundred billion cells in your body, and each cell is like the universe itself-your body is another universe. These intelligence centers are more brighter-like your brain is, of course, more condensed. This main process is, basically, processing information. Your heart, of course, has two jobs, making sure every nerve in your body gives nourishment and has the fresh supplies of air and food, and also, basically, do processing, and you’re down to your brain is digestive systems.

It starts from your tongue, all the way to the back-end. People who do good business-if you listen to them-they say, “Oh, I go with my gut,” and basically, they say to you that they’re going with their dantian brain. That, in the mystified mystic language, is, “Okay, I’m really thinking to my little brain in my gut,” and that brain is so pure and so powerful, by the way, because it’s not contaminated with your identity and with all your childhood wounds, problems, and etcetera. It’s the purest part of you and has the power to manifest. Literally, that’s where reality touches the ultimate world of infinite possibilities. That’s where it edges. The practitioners who are able to follow that are able to manifest really quickly things in their life.

Dantian brain is so pure and so powerful because it’s not contaminated with your identity and with all your childhood wounds, problems, and etc.

Yeah.

Not that manifestations are like something magical-no, but let’s just say, if somebody wants something in his life, somehow it appears, and they call themselves “lucky.” The people who do it and they don’t know-they go, “I’m extremely lucky!” or “I’m extremely fortunate! Anything I wish, it just comes true!” Well, those are the people who are actually naturally connected through that channel.

Yeah.

And for others who are not, they’re basically in their heads-they’re stuck in their heads, they’re thinking. Basically, Stephan, we have struggling people and people who do not struggle. I’ll define it this way: There’s a conscious mind and an unconscious mind. Our conscious mind is very small-like a little river-and our unconscious mind is like an ocean and it’s very permanent. Anything-any piece of information, let’s say, Titanic sank into the ocean, but it’s there still. There’s a little bit of transformation by growing things on it or calcified, but it’s there. You can put a bucket or a little car beside the river, and the first time the river floods, it’s not there-it’s further down or has moved or whatever or broken into pieces and gone so conscious mind moves. Your unconscious mind is subtle, it does it all the time, it’s reliable, that’s why it runs your heart, it runs your blood pressures, it runs your digestion system, and it runs everything that’s absolutely vital.

Now, most people have no connection between their conscious mind and unconscious mind, and that’s where the magic is because conscious mind is supposed to be a writer, and an unconscious mind is supposed to be like a horse. If you are on the horse, you’re not struggling. You’re just, basically, asking the horse or guiding the horse to go where it needs to go, and the horse will go. The struggle begins for people when they actually get off the horse, and they carry that horse on their back because there’s no conscious mind without an unconscious presence so it’s a bigger being. They carry on their back and they say, “I don’t know.” I had a client last week here, and he said-one of his things was, “I’ve been struggling for 50 years. I don’t know how long more I have to struggle,” and it’s just simple-he forgot about his conscious mind. He was an engineer, and he had to solve everything with his conscious mind. It’ll take you only so far. It’s like a smaller being or when you are on a horse, you can’t go against the horse. It will take you where he wants to if it has programming.

When it gets programmed-it only gets programmed when traumatic or something emotional happens, and I guess something becomes dropped like a ship sinking-it goes in there and, “Okay, this is going to be this way anymore.” You put your hand in the socket you get shocked, and the next time you want to put your hand in there, you’re shaken already. Before ever going near the electricity, you’re shaking. That’s what the unconscious mind is. It automates everything. It’s permanent and it learns extremely fast. In fact, most therapies are designed for the conscious mind, and that’s the biggest problem because your conscious mind is extremely slow while your unconscious mind learns at an instant. Often, people take a long time to learn something is because their conscious mind is so fearful that won’t allow them-it filters out almost everything so it won’t allow them to learn it quickly enough, and a lot of people give up because they get bored of it. That means, the unconscious mind is bored to death by the conscious mind. “Let me do this,” but they won’t let it so they give up.

You told me before that Richard Bandler-when he teaches his seminars, so much of the knowledge is embedded in stories, and he’s just kind of taking you on journeys and transforming you through NLP that you don’t really realize what’s happening. He’s speaking directly to your unconscious mind, bypassing your critical faculties, which is the century that’s keeping stuff out of your unconscious. It’s the barrier between the conscious and the unconscious.

Yeah.

Your conscious mind is extremely slow while your unconscious mind learns at an instant.

And only by taking further courses does he kind of unpack what he’s been doing in the earlier classes and going directly to your unconscious. Is that a good summary?

Yeah. Of course, you have to realize, he’s learned from the masters himself, and he has mastered this for 40 years, and he’s a pretty curious guy-he will try anything. By trial and error, he has found the ways of communication directly to your own conscious mind. In fact, conscious that you may go there and not like him. But if you stay in his presence long enough, you’ll unconsciously start liking him, and yes, he does that. He was the very first person I learned from to basically could directly connect to the unconscious and bypass the conscious mind. You have to get permission, and he has the permission by you being in that room, you permit him to do that. Yes, you can bypass your conscious mind and learn unconsciously, and become competent in something that might take, consciously, a very long time, but unconsciously, very, very quickly.

In fact, if your conscious mind allows you, anything you want to learn, you learn it in a single time. In fact, if you think about it, anything that’s permanently with you, if it took a long time-if it took a long time for your conscious mind to be convinced and to step away from your unconscious mind, learn it. That was the thing and that’s the reason for most people. Your conscious mind is unaware of the healing properties of your unconscious mind. Your unconscious mind has your entire blueprint of your body, your genetic code, your blood pressure, your blood composition, your food, digestive system, liver, and every organ in your body, and your unconscious mind doesn’t have a language like the horse that doesn’t speak. You speak, but the horse doesn’t speak-if you think about it that way. The man who was riding the horse can say anything he wants and the horse doesn’t. That’s where we get into trouble with sickness and physical illnesses, which I work quite a bit with-with severe illnesses and things like permanent pain and etcetera. I work, and I work through this.

Basically, I create contact-initial contact-where we find out a conversation between a conscious mind and an unconscious mind. We create a protocol where to understand each other like the horse, man, and its guidance system as the unconscious mind do what it needs to do to solve this problem. Since the unconscious mind cannot talk to you if he needs to convey message-most people have blocked their emotions and feelings, and they are stuck in their head so often, it comes as a pain, illness, and then, of course, fatal disease. It can be unwound-it can be completely unwound. I’m currently, right now, looking for people who have scoliosis-scoliosis at an older age, 20 and above, to experiment that because according to the medical industry, scoliosis has no treatment completely.

The only treatment is do a surgery and stick a little rod into the people’s spine down, and it will take away their entire flexibility. They can’t bend and they can just like, “stick” walk around, but I’m really curious to know how much of that or how fast the entire thing can be reversed. I think it will be because we are reversing many, many illnesses that are more than that, but that’s not all I do. I do a lot of clients who come because they don’t have fulfilling lives, or they’re having financial problems. I get all kinds of people. I’m only working one-on-one with people, by the way.

Got it. A couple of things I wanted to bring up before we moved on to other topics.

Sure!

Cool! The dantian-I first heard that term while taking tai-chi classes. This is an eastern where you put your hand on your dantian, and you breathe from your dantian, which is kind of your lower abdomen, right?

That’s right, yes.

Is there a connection to Eastern philosophy-the Eastern thinking-and what we’ve been talking about?

Well, they discovered this first, yes. They knew that there is a level of intelligence that’s coming from there. When you connect to your dantian, you could actually relax all your muscles and be stronger as if you’ve been resisting. In fact, if you want to know if somebody is connecting to his dantian, you can push him, and they will fall over, but the minute they connect or basically their thoughts are in their center or in their belly or under the belly button-in that center point-you’ll see that you cannot push them over anymore. They won’t fall. Even if they hold their arm on a 90-degree, you can push it down, but it will be very, very hard to press down.

By just imagining energy coming from that, down to your center, and flowing out of their arm, in Eastern philosophy they call that a source of “Chi,” which is, basically, the source of everything that we are, and it has quite a bit of effect, yes. In Western society, we’ve learn to detach from this, and they have discovered it. They’ve used it in martial arts and in healing. In fact, you go to a doctor in China-I mean, not just doctors, but, basically, a traditional Chinese doctor, he’ll be checking your meridians to see if the Chi is flowing, and the source of the Chi is there-your dantian brain. Think about it-it’s the very first brain that was developed because men became from a single cell being to multi-cell. The only thing we had to think of was our stomach, and it developed first so it has a connection. It has a connection to the bigger being. If you think about single-cell beings are able to detect their food, move towards it, and eat it-how do they do that if they don’t have brain?

The one-cell is able to do all that. The single-cell has a brain in it or has, at least, processing power, and it can detect and know. If it doesn’t have eyes, ears, skin-or it has a skin-but how does he know which direction does he have to go or does that cell has to go in order to find food? These are some of the things that scientists are discovering today-that there is vast amount of intelligence and now, it takes us to a field connection. We are literally connected to a field of consciousness that knows everything. It’s like an internet-think about it like an internet. All the cells are connected through our being, so our dantian brain is right there-connected through our head and the entire universe as we are inside and as we are outside. As you see outside, you’ll see the entire universe-look inside, you’ll see the same universe. The center of it is your dantian brain, and it flows from there.

We are literally connected to a field of consciousness that knows everything. It’s like an internet. Click To Tweet

Very cool!

Yeah.

My next thought was, when you were describing how these different stories-not stories, but you were using a different term-the meaning or whatever that you apply the things can either be empowering or disempowering-oh, the beliefs-we’re talking about beliefs earlier.

Yes.

And that reminded me of Tony Robbins talking about stories are never true or not true, they are only either empowering or disempowering. It sounds very similar to what you’re describing about beliefs.

Yes, it’s the same thing.

Yeah.

But he professes that we should stop saying disempowering stories and telling empowering stories, and I’m saying a little bit something different, and I don’t do this with every client. I know some of them that need it, and I’ve found that professionally, the ones that trade stocks are, really, incredibly good with this because most of the people who trade stocks are thinking, “Oh, the stock market is going to go up or down!” When you stop believing all this, you’re just going to see, “Oh, it’s going up so I’m just buying,” so you go with the trend or whatever is happening at that moment, and you do a much better decision-making based on that. Think about it this way: If you had an empowering belief-give me an empowering belief?

That I can become a better and better person.

Okay. You can become a better and better person. Actually, that’s really good. I really like it, but let’s say-what if there was something you were doing that was not making you better? But since you believe that you can always get better and better-of course, that you were just saying you can-okay, this is really intelligent. This is too good. Give me another one.

Well, I am kind of a high quality either way.

I can see that!

All right, so I have a problem showing up on time.

Oh, but this is a limiting belief.

Oh, so you want an empowering one?

Empowering, yeah. That one was really hard to pull, it’s a good one, actually, I would keep that one.

Okay, so a different empowering one-how about…

But let me ask you actually-let me say something before we go to the next one-but even then, when you’re stagnant since you believe you’re getting better and better or you can get better and better, you may miss the point that you are right now stagnant, because you’re filtering the world through that-do you understand?

Yeah.

Go ahead. Just give me one more so I can give you a better example of this.

I’m an open-minded human being.

Every belief is limiting.

Yeah, okay. You’re an open-minded human being, but there are points that you may have to be very critical. You may have to be very close-minded, okay? And this belief-the belief is creating that open-mindedness, and you’re not able to act as that in that moment. You’re stuck into a fix in a very variable world. Do you understand? It’s actually-listen, again, another very good belief, but to me, every belief is limiting. They limit their parameters. It sets up that-I am not close-minded. I am not traditional. I am not conservative. I’m very progressive-is that true?

Yeah.

Okay, so there are points of life that you need to be very conservative, and you could be taking a risk that might be too big or very unconventional so not having that belief in place, but instead having resources that you already have within you that can protect that position for you, and that means-okay, let me ask you something: What’s the intention behind that belief?

To not judge people, and to give them a shot.

Good. Okay, well, what if you just did that without the belief?

Sure. But isn’t that a belief too?

No, no. You have resources within you to be able to give people the chance. You have resources within you being able to listen and be non-judgmental, and this is “being.” It’s not a belief-it’s total being, and you have within you-those resources. If you transfer that to that, you just, basically, become free of that belief. That belief is not serving you.

Yeah.

I mean, it’s very new at this point, okay?

But I can see how it could not serve me at some points. One area where I am close-minded is about doing drugs, for example. I’ve never even smoked a cigarette. There is no way I’m ever going to do marijuana or any drug. I’m not going to do Ayahuasca ever, ever, ever, and that’s pretty close-minded, doesn’t it?

Yeah.

I’m not open-minded when it comes to that, I’m close-minded. We’re not all one thing or the other-like, I’m very honest, but yet I lie sometimes like everybody, and so, am I a liar and am I honest? I mean, if we don’t have these labels and these beliefs then you just, as you described it, you’re just “being.”

Yeah.

You’re focusing on your being, and that’s when I like that. I think that’s a good thing.

Yeah. You just said it. You just, basically, told me everything I was going to tell you.

Good! Well, let’s move on then.

The biggest person we’ve been lying to is ourselves, by the way.

Well, tell me more about that because I bet we’ve got some skeptics listening here and saying, “Yeah, I don’t lie to myself.”

Because everything you believe in is a lie. Everything we were told is a lie. It’s just serving us at the moment. In the time of Crusade, there were set of lies that was told. It was serving at the time that they want to be sending people to the Crusade. In medieval times, there were others who were saying that the earth is flat because it was serving them, and today we know, “Oh, it’s not flat anymore. It’s round.” Okay, we got that one right now, and it’s through our observation, but still, the belief we have that the earth is round, it’s fixing us to that reality. We need to know-what am I seeing? What am I experiencing? What am I feeling? What am I sensing? Is this today? No. If you believe somebody is honest, what if he starts lying to you tomorrow? You’re not even checking. Okay? And it could be-have you seen an honest person turned dishonest later?

Yeah, sure.

I’ve done. These beliefs are fixing our world to one single reality, and we need that, by the way. We need that to be real, but we don’t need our belief systems to do that-we need our observation and presence to do that. They will not be present as long as the belief system is present. I’m not proponent of everybody giving all their entire belief system and become belief-less or become free-spirited beings who go around to do well and enjoy life. No, I’m not proponing that.

Yeah, that doesn’t sound good at all.

For some people, it might be their dream come true.

I’ll just think of a belief that I was taught as a child: Money doesn’t grow on trees. And that is not a belief that serves me. That wasn’t a belief that served me back then either, but I just didn’t know any better to question them on it.

Yes.

 I mean, it sounds true. I’ve never seen a tree growing dollar bills so okay, I guess it’s true: Money doesn’t grow on trees.

Yeah, I had a similar belief myself. When I got to North America-I came from Iran-and I just thought that the streets are paved by money. Anybody who doesn’t make money in this country must be dumb or stupid-excuse my language. I hope nobody gets upset by this, but that served me. I became wealthy very quickly. It was a money magnet. Money was falling everywhere. I said, “As long as I’m in Canada-up here-the money will come from the sky,” because I came from a different environment where the money was not so readily available. You see?

Yeah.

The difference in the belief is what made the reality for me.

The difference in the belief is what made the reality for me. Now, did that serve me at that point? Yes. But did it take a lot of other things from me? Yes, it took a lot away from me. I was looking down on people who are poor or who are not able to do what I was doing, and I was like, “Are you crazy? Just look-it’s everywhere. Money is everywhere! Look in the street!” That took away my compassion-some of my compassion-at that point. It wasn’t until later on when I found out, “Holy crap! That was just a belief. That was a lie I told myself.” If it wasn’t a lie then, you and I would have said exactly the same thing-in fact, billion people would have said exactly the same thing because we observed it. You’re right, there’s no money on the street, but I would say to myself, “Streets are paved by money here, and there’s money everywhere. Look at it! Oh my God! Dripping!”

Yeah, and then your reticular activating system is looking for all those opportunities whereas, if you have this limiting belief that it doesn’t grow on trees, and I have to work really hard in order to make my way in the world…

Exactly!

And there are no handouts, and it’s all hard slug then that’s what your reticular activating system is tuned for.

Exactly. Yeah, that’s exactly how it works, and it activates that. That’s how I got in, and that’s how you got into that other side of reality or whatever it is. I know you’re very wealthy, and you’re well, but it must happen in the very past, and of course, it limits you on how far you can go.

Yeah. Now, give me an example of how somebody would have this issue of lying to themselves, and they’re trying to stop, let’s say, smoking-so, they are addicted to smoking and they don’t want to be addicted anymore. They feel like their brain has been hijacked because their cravings are driving them, and they’re telling them these different stories…

Okay, let’s take this one a step behind. What’s the belief? Do you know what the belief is? Do you think his belief is intellectual or emotional?

Oh, that’s a good question. I think it’s emotional.

Yes, true, it’s emotional. Most people think a belief is intellectual and a part of their intellect-that’s not true. A belief is emotional. You have a phrase like, “Money grows on trees or doesn’t grow on trees,” and then you have an emotion of certainty that actually attaches to that so every belief you have is emotional. As you know, your emotions are not permanent-it’s just that, they come and go, but if you fix it through having this belief, and every time you believe, we feel this feeling of certainty and because something has anchored it to it, okay? Now, your question wa How do you get somebody who has a smoking problem and wants to give it up? First of all, your unconscious mind does not change unless you instruct it to change. I can, literally, connect to your unconscious mind and tell it to stop or convince it and go into that negotiation. It’s some sort of negotiation where we ask the unconscious mind to end your urges and make it taste tasteless. In fact, I had, today, a guy who was having a problem with drinking, and that’s exactly what I did with him. I helped him to understand-his unconscious-all the trouble that’s causing, the hangovers, losing business, clients, family problems, and once the unconscious mind understood that and instructed to, “Could you please do anything in your resources to stop it?” and he said, “Yes.” Then, we said, “Can we add a few things? Like, make it taste really bad and then, can you bring any gag when…

Reflex, yeah.

Yeah, and I asked him to run and get a beer from a beer store, and just brought it in. He put it in front of his nose, and he almost made a mess at my office so yeah, that’s how you do it. It’s not simple. I have the tendency of making complex things simple, and it’s not that serious. It has to be engineered, and he’s got to be very aware, and a coach who is extremely, extremely good because these things are not easy, there are complications, and you have to know what you’re doing. Other ways such as, you have to bring a point of fed up. Most people have, let’s say, if I’m a cigarette smoker or a drinker, I have an image in my mind of that, “What would be like..” or the after-fact of the pleasure I get out of that cigarette, okay? So, there’s not much foresight, basically.

Or, the drink-they say, “Oh, wow! I drink and I’m relaxed,” or “I get this pleasure after.” Or, drugs. Somebody does drugs, and they have this after-fact-they have that sensation-that’s what the urge is. What if you turn that into a video? Okay, so turn into a video, and I say-this is one of the answers-so, turn it into a video and see yourself. “Okay, yeah, I enjoyed,” and then, “Okay, what happens?” so he’s like, “It wears out, and then I get the urge again, and I do it again.” “Okay, and now?” “Good, okay, and then I’ll do it again.” “Okay, and then don’t see nothing,” and he said, “Okay.” “Well, I want you to run it for a month now in your mind very quickly,” and he will run for a month. I say, “Okay, now, run for a year, and run for 10 years, and 20 years-okay, where are you now?”

And then they’ll look at themselves. They can’t believe it. If there are drugs or alcohol, they’re sitting in the corner of the street, begging for 5 pennies or 10, and once they get there, they get it really quick. They’ll say, “Is that where I’m going?” and I’ll say, “Yeah. That’s where you’re heading with the way you’re drinking. If you’re drinking 20 beers a day, you’re basically, an alcoholic. A trouble waiting to happen.”

Is this timeline therapy? Or-?

Oh, this is not timeline therapy. Not through the definition of what Tad James teaches, but it is some sort of timeline. I’m running them in truth’s time and say, “Hey, listen,” but the whole key is, they have still picture in their mind. They’re seeing in a still picture. They see only what they get out of that right after. There’s no foresight. Once you foresight, that means going to the future and saying, “What if I continue this, what’s going to happen after 20 years?” That’s when they wise up. They see the consequences. They say, “Oh, shit! I need to stop.”

It becomes real.

Yeah, it’s real. And then, at that point, they are ready to get intervened. You, basically, take back and say, “Okay, forget about that, let’s go back, and see where the roads are,” and you can take him to many different ways. One is, timeline. You can take him back to the time when he actually started that urge, or the behavior, or the emotion that caused that behavior, change that and the whole thing collapses on its own, or you can actually, basically, go backwards. Take the last time they did something like that, crush it, and it will crush. It will have a generalization effect. Our brain or unconscious mind does something called generalization, and that’s how we reduce two million information generalization, deletion, and distortion is basically what’s happening. We see, one time, something happens, and we say, “Well, always, this thing happens to me!”

Not really-that’s distorted reality. You’re living a distorted reality-it’s not always. It’s only five times out of every 10 times, you get something like this. There’s 50% chance-or 60, or maybe 80-90% chance-it’s not always. Sometimes, it goes the other way around, but we always beat-we always-you say always. I actually generalize myself. I caught myself generalizing. So, or delusion-we don’t see many, many tanks. We don’t see anything that your belief system, basically, doesn’t want to see, and that’s one of the reason, one of the problems, with belief system. You give the information-you give the most important channel for you, to which is an observation, into a belief system that has a mind of its own and is out of your control. Once you choose a belief system, they’re in charge. You see what they want you to see-or what the belief system wants to see-and nothing else.

Once you choose a belief system, they’re in charge.

Belief system makes you blind.

Yes, it makes you a fanatic. You become fanatic-not in the religious sense, but in a human sense, okay? Often, unfortunately, 80% of our beliefs are negative beliefs or destructive beliefs- okay, not bad ones so when you’re basically a hostage in their hand-in the belief’s hand-I mean, all these beliefs are sitting up there and deciding what you’re going to see, delete, distort, and generalize then you’re, basically-excuse my language-screwed, and that’s one of the reasons why traditional therapy does not work. I say it with very pure confidence. One of the things I’ve realized very, very quickly was that traditional therapy is the least effective and the most expensive. Now, people sometimes tell me, “You’re quite expensive,” and I say, “How could it be expensive when it works and when you get the results you want? Don’t you want to live? You want to go 15 years and then later find out, you’re screwed anyway so it’s like crap.”

Yeah.

I hope I’m not jumping from one subject to another.

No, no, no. This has been fabulous. Actually, we need to wrap up, I know, but I do want to ask you to share how people can reach you if they’re interested in working with you or learning more.

Yeah. I work one-on-one, and I’m, basically, invisible in the internet. I do not advertise. I do not need to advertise. I get enough clients as it is. I choose my clients. I’m very careful to make sure that that person actually wants to work and be serious. They have to be able to travel to me because it’s face-to-face and one-on-one, and they have to do it three times minimum.

You’re based in Toronto.

I’m based in Toronto. The best I can do is, give them my phone number or my email address. It’s aslan.mirkalami@gmail.com. That’s my email address, and my phone number is 416-258-0038. Anybody who wants to talk or ask any questions, please shoot me an email or call me on my number. I travel sometimes because some of my clients are in Europe and Asia, and if there’s enough of them, I’ll just travel to them. When I go that far, I stay for a few weeks so I’m vacationing too at the same time.

All right. Well, thank you, Aslan, for sharing your wisdom and experience with us, and for being real. I hope this was helpful. You have to apply now some of these thoughts, ideas, and methodologies into your life in order to make this more than just an education or information, but turn it into transformation. All right, guys, catch you on the next episode! I’m your host, Stephan Spencer, signing off.

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About Aslan Mirkalami

Aslan Mirkalami is a high-performance coach, entrepreneur, and the founder of Rugman.com. He’s a certified trainer in Neuro-Linguistic Programming, hypnosis, neuro-hypnotic patterning, human design engineering, and timeline therapy.

 

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